Who Needs a Trinity?
Emperor Constantine addressed the bishops around him:
“Are we in agreement?”
“Yes.” Everyone nodded.
“It is settled then. This Council determines God is Goddess and all men were created to be Her slaves.”
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” The time-traveling hypnotist grinned. “Who needs a Trinity, anyway?”
In silence, they bowed down to worship.
Time for another bit of History warping. This is just a parody so please take no offense, okay? The First Council of Nicaea was a council of Christian bishops convened in the Bithynian city of Nicaea (now İznik, Turkey) by the Roman Emperor Constantine I in AD 325. This ecumenical council was the first effort to attain consensus in the church through an assembly representing all of Christendom.
Its main accomplishments were the settlement of the Christological issue of the divine nature of God the Son and his relationship to God the Father, the construction of the first part of the Nicene Creed, the establishment of uniform observance of the date of Easter, and the promulgation of early canon law. Some scholars also defend the idea that the conception of The Holy Trinity was established in this council as well but proof on the subject is dubious. It is however known that the date on which the gathering ended was August 25th, 325 AD.
With such a precise historical date at hand, it should come as no surprise to you that I chose to play with it so Horatia traveled to Nicaea and changed history again. If your beliefs changed in the moments it took you to read this little snippet, now you know why.
Nothing of Value
“… and goodbye, bitch!” Walter concluded.
“You said that?” John queried
“Yep. Allison is ancient history. She doesn’t control my thoughts and actions anymore.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Why?”
“Never mind…” John looked at his friend’s exposed ass. It was the third time he had forgotten his clothes that week but nothing of value was lost.
Another humorous impromptu. This one was written during my lunch break, pretty much the first thing that came to mind. Apologies if you were hoping for something more exciting but not all days are the same and some ideas are as simple as this. Feel like losing your clothes right now?
Lady of the Ring
Francis stood by the open front door, imaginary staff in hand.
“You shall not pass!”
“Lord of the Rings triggers again, sis?” Charles asked, peeking inside.
“He loves Gandalf too much…” Vanessa chuckled
“Better him than Gollum. Can’t stand the little creep.”
“Couldn’t stand…” She corrected him, flashing a pussy ring.
“My precious…” Charles drooled.
It goes without saying that The Lord of the Rings is one of the most emblematic works of literature. Like countless others that came before me, I too was fascinated by Middle-Earth and its mythology when I first read it many, many years ago. I was also in awe at the amazing film adaptation of the trilogy in the early 2000s, helmed by Peter Jackson as well as the inspiring score of which I own both the regular OST and the Complete Recordings edition. The latter was something I saved up for a while before being able to import it and it’s still one of the best Christmas presents ever.
I still listen to the music every now and then. In fact, I listened to the soundtrack of The Fellowship of the Ring yesterday evening as I was updating the site which gave me the idea for this one. The piece that plays during the famous (or infamous because of all the memes) Balrog scene is nothing short of breathtaking so…
Something Better
“Outrageous!”
“Utterly humiliating!”
“This is the greatest scandal in the history of our country!”
The choir of voices was never ending and even the time-traveling hypnotist was baffled.
“All that noise for a tan suit? Let me give you something way better!”
BREAKING NEWS: The President sticks a flag on his cock! Mysterious woman laughs.
So… six years ago, before I even considered embarking on this daily creative journey, former US President Barack Obama showed up at a White House news conference dressed in beige and was lambasted left and right for it. The “tan suit” was outrageous, and apparently sent the wrong message to the Americans, other countries and… whatever.
Frankly, I don’t get it. I never did. I always thought it was so ridiculous to devote so much attention to it. I don’t pretend to understand American politics (this text certainly isn’t one!) but this Tan-gate makes me laugh. I was reminded of it because a lot of news sites today decided to remember it as well so something kinky was born due to it. My story would have been a much better scandal, don’t you agree?