A Comment/Review on ZTV25’s “All Sales Are Final”

A while back, I told you about ZTV25’s Free Boy Toy , a story about a Femdom Mind Control kidnapping. There was a Mommy angle going on in that one that I wasn’t overly fond of even though I enjoyed the story. Today, I’m reading another story by the same author. This one is entitled All Sales Are Final and the synopsis goes like this:

A man is at a store when he is approached by a woman who thinks he is part of the merchandise.

The moment I read that sentence above I thought to myself: What? Is she going to buy him, or something? As it turns out, yes, she does that in a way and the overall result is part funny, part strange for you see, this is another story about a kidnapping, or rather two kidnappings. Allow me to explain.

So… It all begins with a man called Miles even though we only get to know his name midway into the tale whose TV remote batteries died out. Rushing to a store to buy some new ones, he is greeted by this mysterious woman – Skylar – who hypnotizes him, ties him up, and leaves the store with him inside his shopping cart. Yes, that’s what happens. This particular sequence is quite surreal hence the laughs.

“Miss, why is he tied up like that?”

“He’s my boyfriend. It’s his kink.”

“That’ll be $32.78 …”

After getting himself kidnapped, Miles is hypnotized and brainwashed (mostly off-screen) into believing he’s Skylar’s husband. This could be the end of the tale but then we get introduced to Taelyn, another character Skylar kidnaps and that’s when things become even more bizarre.

For you see, Taelyn has been Skylar’s primary objective all along, Miles was a former classmate of hers and Skylar wanted a reason to attend their upcoming highschool reunion so she got herself a “husband” to do that. This particular twist caught me totally off-guard and so did the switching POV.

In the first section, Miles tells the events in 3rd person but then we switch to 3rd person recalling the events from Skylar’s point of view. For instance, the aforementioned moment with the store’s cashier is slightly different this time around.

“Miss, why is he tied up like that?” the cashier asked.

“He’s my boyfriend. It’s his kink.”

“I don’t know.”

“If I was kidnapping him would I check out like this.”

“I guess not.”

“Thank you.”

“That’ll be $32.78 …”

I enjoyed the extra details in this and other scenarios but, sometimes, things become muddled, with one of shifts in POV that are most likely errors otherwise they wouldn’t make much sense. For instance when Skylar is about to hypnotize Miles into believing she’s his wife, we have a bit of an induction going on in the following lines

She made sure her eyes were all he could see.

“Pretty aren’t they? The lights sparkle so beautifully reflected in them. They catch your eye and refuse to let go. The lights dance in them, growing and shrinking, growing and shrinking as if to some unheard music. They rhythmically ungulate in a soothing pattern. When some shrink others grow, shrink then grow, shrink then grow, shrink and grow, shrink and grow …”

But then the next paragraph is straight up Miles POV and that’s jarring. It makes sense in the opening section but not on this one. I’m pretty sure it’s a mistake but one that seriously affects the flow of the story (at least for me)

I tried to fight her influence, but it did no good. I was soon lost in the dancing of lights that existed only in my head. A deep relaxing sensation poured into my waiting body. I became only aware of a few of her actual words but my mind absorbed her meaning.

Overall, I’m torn about this one. I enjoyed it for the most part but this back-and-forth doesn’t always work. Mixing two entirely different POVs in a single tale is tricky and while I get what the author was going for, I believe sticking to one would have been preferable. Either have 3rd person all the way or have two or three first person narrators, each one adding their own details to the plot. It would have made things more enjoyable, I believe, but your mileage may vary.

Thank you for reading.

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