Growing a Pair

[mc, fd, mf, hu, hy]

((A bit of silliness I remember having a lot of fun writing, many moons ago. Be careful with strange ‘growths’, will you?))

“I’m growing boobs!” David exclaimed as he stood in front of the mirror, hands slightly above his chest.

“You’re what?!” Samuel asked, in disbelief, as he looked at his friend and took notice of the strange circular motions his hands were now producing, almost as if he was gently rubbing something.

“Boobs, dude!” David retorted as he turned his friend’s way. “Are you deaf or what? Just look at this…” and pointed at his bare torso. “Does it look natural to you?”

“Hmmm… David… I don’t see any boobs whatsoever! Are you high again?”

“Hell no! I haven’t touched the stuff in months! Are you serious? You really can’t see them?”

“Positive. I can’t see what’s not there. Unless you’re growing invisible boobs…”

“But I can see them, and feel them. They’re right here and they’re growing, honestly!” continued David completely befuddled. “Give me your hands so you can touch them and see I’m not lying!”

Samuel immediately backed away, moving as close to the bedroom door as possible.

“I’m not touching any part of you, okay? Geez, what is wrong with you, today?”

“There’s nothing wrong with me apart from the fact that I’m growing boobs! I first had this strange feeling last night but now it’s more than that… they’re here and they’re getting huge! Oh my God, I don’t understand any of this!”

“Wait a second… last night?” Samuel inquired as he suddenly remembered something. “You went out with Jennifer last night, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, so…?”

“Did you guys drink anything?”

“Sure, but what’s that got to do with my problem?”

“I’m thinking she might have spiked your drink with something that’s making you have these delusions right now…”

“Why on Earth would she do that?”

“I don’t know… may be you tried to push things way too fast and she decided to teach you a lesson. There are numerous chemical substances that can induce certain hallucinogenic states where people see and feel things that aren’t really there and she’s majoring in Chemistry, isn’t she?”

David nodded whilst continuing to fondle his new pair of boobs that only existed in his mind.

“Stay right here. I’m going to Jennifer’s dorm to straighten things out!” declared Samuel, convinced he had hit the jackpot.

“Uh… okay.” David mumbled. His friend was already gone even before he finished the sentence.


* * *

Jennifer came rushing to the door the moment she heard the loud knocking. Samuel was the last person she expected to see that day but she welcomed him openheartedly, nonetheless. He walked in with a frown upon his face.

“Now, there’s a surprise!” she smiled. “How are you?”

“I was fine until my best friend told me he was growing boobs and I suspect you had something to do with it!” he responded quite abruptly.

A faint giggle escaped her lips.

“Oh, really? What makes you say that?”

“Because of what you’re studying… What happened last night, Jennifer? What did he do to you to deserve such a thing?”

Her smile disappeared as she explained everything.

“David got a little carried away in the drinking game last night at the restaurant and he tried to touch me where I didn’t want to be touched at that time, and certainly not in public! After we were practically expelled from the place—much to my shame!—, I decided to play with his head for a while but I’m not really a vengeful person so you don’t have anything to worry about! Your friend will get back to normal in forty-eight hours or so and the best part of it all is that he won’t remember anything of what’s happening right now…”

“Okay, I get it and I kind of understand your reasons if things really went down the way you say they did.” Samuel said. “But what exactly did you use? What sort of drug does that to people?”

“Oh, it wasn’t a drug!” she responded as her face became warm and cheerful once more.

“Then what was it?”

“Do you really want to know?” she challenged him.

“Yes. Very much, please,” he replied.

“Then, I guess I’m going to have to show you…” She started fiddling with the blue pendant around her neck. “I was wearing this last night and…”


* * *

David was in shock when he saw his friend walking in like a hunchback, hands below his waist level and apparently making a great effort to lift something very heavy although he couldn’t see a thing.

“Man, I’m so glad you’re back!” he shouted. “These things keep getting bigger and bigger…”

“Ah…” Samuel interjected, rather disdainfully. “Consider yourself lucky you don’t have a pair of these! Where the hell am I going to find a bra that’s strong enough to hold them?”

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