Wish List
Bradley opened his eyes, stretched, and immediately sneezed after a sweep of cat fur hit him on the nose. Nugget didn’t seem to care, firmly perched upon his master’s chest like a king on a throne but, despite his claims, even the beautiful Balinese knew the true monarchy in the house lived far across the ocean. The woman with a spicy voice that, sometimes, appeared on the laptop’s screen was irresistible, and he loved her dearly.
It was therefore no surprise that the first thing the mid-thirties man did after getting out of bed was to sit at the desk and try to reach her. It was imperative he did so before his thoughts faded away. E-mail open, he began to type.
“Mistress,
first, thank you so much for last night. I can never get enough of your voice sliding deep inside my mind. You make me feel so weak, so compliant, so alive, and no thrill compares to the moments when I truly let go of everything to do your bidding. Your programming fills me with blissful wonderment, and I’m so grateful to have a place in your life.
“I woke up just now, partly invigorated from your dominance, but also a bit deflated, adrift in ponderations about how things between us could be even more substantial. Some ideas came to mind, which I’ll now try to convey. I know you’re extremely busy, so I don’t expect a reply but knowing you’ll read these means a lot to me. This is my wish list, so to speak.
“I wish we could talk all the time. I know this is impossible but, then again, I never said I expected all my wishes to come true.
“I wish I didn’t have such a massive headache after only getting three hours of sleep last night. I’ll probably need to crash in a bit to see if it will go away. If not, well, there’s always the good old bottle of pills waiting for me.
“I wish you’d call me ‘pet’ more often. Ever since I confessed my love of the word, my mind is always in a frenzy, waiting for you to use it again. A pet is precious to me. I like mine more than I like a lot of people and, whenever you acknowledge me as such, I feel wanted, loved and all that we share becomes even more worthwhile so, please… type it, whisper it, shout it out loud whenever you can.
“I wish I could be more adventurous in my daily life. I suck at taking chances because they often backfire, and the pain of failure tears me apart. I still don’t understand why I made the leap I did with you but, even when I doubt myself, I never doubt you, and I certainly don’t regret relinquishing a part of my soul in this pursuit of happiness. I know you can help me become the best person I can be, one that’s more open and willing to embrace the present and the future. Don’t hesitate to chastise me and whip me into shape whenever I’m slacking off or wallowing in self-pity.
“I wish I could tribute you on a more regular basis. You deserve it. You deserve the whole world. However, the world is too big and too expensive, and there are sacrifices I’ll never be able to make. In all this time, you never asked me to give you anything although I’m aware you’re pleased when I do. There’ll be times when all I’ll have to give are words of devotion, perhaps an embellished image or a simple keyboard melody haphazardly thrown together. It may not be much of anything but it’s heartfelt, and I know you understand that.
“I wish you would be more assertive with me, sometimes. You often say ‘please’ when you ask something, and I love that about you, I really do, but I also love it when you just take control with a direct command, when you forgo the pleasantries and tell me ‘I want you to do this, and this is how you’ll do it.’ Perpetual entitlement is off-putting, but a little bit of forcefulness feels good every now and then. Even when I’m not entranced, my knees tremble whenever you give me an order, and I want to obey you so badly. I need to obey you, and there are occasions when I need to do it without having the chance to think about it. Don’t let me think too much.
“And last, but not least, I wish I could be at your feet in dutiful worship right now instead of writing these lines.
“I never wanted to serve anyone until we met. Now that you’re a part of my life, I can’t even conceive the notion of not following your lead, and I’ll never betray you for another. I’m flawed just like you are because we’re both humans after all, but I’m loyal to the bone. Sometimes, I’ll act stupidly, and maybe even piss you off for real. I’ll say and write idiotic things, regret doing so shortly after and, perhaps, try to take them back in equally dumb and stupid ways. Undoubtedly, you’ll do the same, and we’ll both laugh and cry on account of it all. And yet, when the dust settles and the harrowing clouds go away, you’ll still find me wherever you want me to be, whether it is standing proudly or kneeling, naked, with a collar around my neck, a symbol of your loving ownership of my mind and body.
“In five, ten years from now, I wish we’re still together, the same, yet stronger but, even if for some bizarre reason, that doesn’t come to pass, know that, for everything you are and mean to me, I’ll always be
“Yours,
Brad”
The moment he hit ‘send’, an ecstatic glow overwhelmed him from inside out. Instantly, he recognized the suggestion she had given him before and smiled, happy to be under her control.
